episode 9: assessing feedback/criticism
If you’ve ever felt gutted, confused, or shut down after someone’s comment — this one’s for you! If you’ve ever felt torn between your own truth and someone’s unsolicited opinion, this one’s for you cutie pie! If you've ever thought "is this me?" or "is this them?", you guessed it...this one’s for you!
Not all feedback is worth receiving. Not all criticism is created equal.
This episode is where we go over how to build strong boundaries - emotional, psychological, & spiritual. If you're navigating identity shifts, putting your work out there, or doing anything different, this is a must-listen for your mental health and mental clarity.
Here's the outline:
Why we must build powers of discernment - perception vs projection
3 major truths about the reality of giving and receiving feedback/criticism
A piercing (& maybe slightly uncomfortable 😉) analysis of who gets to give you feedback and why
Top 3 questions you should ask yourself about the person giving you feedback
A thorough analysis of what constitutes as feedback and what doesn't
Best ways to respond to both valid and invalid feedback
Reference episodes to deepen your experience:
Right click to save this as an image
assessing the source of the feedback
Top 3 assessment questions
Does this person have a life (or certain aspects of life) that I want for myself? What do I admire about this person?
What is their level of strength? (1-10)
strength of life force coming from this person?
are they seemingly always in a victim state?
do they seem like they get a kick out of criticizing me, being cruel, or in general feeling superior to me?
general level of peace this person exudes on average?
How much drama do they have in their lives?
do they call out bad behavior? they may not do it very well, but they do.
If they had to stand for something what would they stand for? What hill would they die on? Who do they protect or love fiercely? How do they treat the people they claim to love?
Right click to save this as an image
Other questions for contemplation
Are they skilled at something (especially at the thing they're giving me feedback about)?
Do they have boundaries (not stone walls, and not door mats)?
Has this person recently demonstrated that they have my best interests at heart? Key words here are "recently" and "demonstrated".
What are this person's demographics? How has that influenced their worldview? Have they demonstrated that they can rise above their conditioning and really see me? Examples of demographics - race, gender, culture, religion, etc.
Would this person give the same feedback to a different demographics person exhibiting the same behaviors I did that are in question? For example - if I was the opposite gender or another race or just another person, would they still give me the same feedback? Have you actually witnessed them giving this feedback to another?
Right click to save this as an image
assessing the feedback itself
Does this feedback feel like an emotional explosion or like a careful analysis? No one should be cavalier with handling your heart or soul. If they are, then this is not a person worth listening to.
Do you feel a little enlightened by the feedback?
If you feel a little excited but the feedback, you know you’re on the right track. It can also feel like a cool breeze on a hot day. Or a hot drink on a cold winter morning. It could also feel like it unlocked a new awareness or an ‘aha’ feeling about what you already suspected.
Is the feedback vague about actual details yet very specific about your character assessment? For example - ‘this art work is shit and the artist is a fraud’ or ‘it gave me bad vibes’.
If I implemented this feedback, how would it benefit me and others? Are these benefits I want?
If I implemented this feedback, how would it hurt me or others?
until next time,
may you truly, TRULY be fed by words that honor your dignity
Dilshad
Listen to the show on your favorite platforms